14 June 2007

Nature, Close Up (Actually REALLY Close Up): Part II

There is no doubt that I have just a touch of hypochondria. Over the years, I've been fearful of having all kinds of ailments. In fact, before I realized I was nearly three months pregnant with our daughter, I had convinced myself that the strange, stretching sensation I felt in my abdomen was some type of growth. Ha!

Yesterday morning, I went outside to water plants. I pulled several dead sprigs from the hanging basket that houses Mama Bird and her eggs. I yanked a few stray garlic chives from the perennial beds.

Sometime later that morning, I developed a very strange, prickly sensation in my right...shall we say...bosom (no, I cannot say that other word). As the day went on, the sensation did not dissipate. In fact, it became more intense. Sharp, stabbing pains were followed by a most unusual itchiness in that area.
Don't scratch! I told myself. Whatever it is, scratching will surely exacerbate it.

Oh, my gosh...What could it be? I began to think of all kinds of diseases and conditions that might cause a sudden onset of these strange symptoms. I assure you, none of them were good. I tried to put the sensations out of my mind but the itchy / prickly / sharp poking feelings continued throughout the day. The more I thought about it, the sweatier my palms became. By the afternoon, my knees were weak with fear.

After dinner, I was so uncomfortable that I decided I needed to investigate. No matter how dire the situation, I was just going to have to deal with it, I said to myself bravely.

Into the bathroom I went. I loosened my shirt and bra, and to my utter shock, several dark bits of "something" fell into the sink.
Oh, no! Whatever it was, this dread disease was causing some type of flaking! I clutched the sink and opened one eye.

Wait! Was that a leaf?
I reached inside my bra. Out came a stem from our hanging basket. In fact, the entire right side of my bra was filled with little brown, crumbly leaves.

At that moment, it all came back to me. I had pulled a few dead stems from the hanging basket that morning. They must have dropped right down into my definitely-too-big bra.

I heaved a great sigh of relief. And with a quick shake-shake of my undergarment, I was cured of all symptoms of the Hanging Basket Syndrome.


Connie said...

Hilarious! This disease usually happens to me after I get my hair cut. All those little, microscopic hairs get in my bra and drive me crazy! Thanks for giving me a good laugh today!

Lynn said...

Great post! lmao. I really hate when stuff like that happens to me. I'm like you... I'll think I'm dying of something before just going and checking to see what it even looks like. Thanks, You put a smile on this otherwise gloomy day.

Maureen said...

HAH!!!! That was great....

Fortunately for me, my bosom is far too small to attract this dread disease ;)