08 January 2007

Square Buns, Square Lettuce, and Corporate Mayonnaise Policies

I'm known in my family for telling stories with no point. Sometimes they are quite long and elaborate. Eyes glaze over. When I'm done, DD and DH will say, "And? Your point?" to which I will reply, "There is none. It was just an interesting story." This is always followed by groans and pulling of hair.

The first part of this post is really along those same lines. If you're patient enough to read it, you may find there is no point.
Or, you could make your own point. Or, if you really want a point, you may need to visit someone else's blog today. :-)

ANYWAY, DH and I stopped at Wendy's awhile back and I ordered the new Frescata sandwich, made with "artisan" bread. The bun is square. I guess that makes it more artisanal. Upon further inspection, we noticed that the turkey is extra long and folded in on the top and bottom, in diaper fashion, to precisely fit the bun. But the most interesting thing was the square lettuce. I guess if you're All About Artisan Bread, you wouldn't want your lettuce sloppily hanging off the bun. While I do believe this lettuce was cut to fit, it made me wonder if they are now growing square lettuce, just like they were growing square watermelons in Japan a few years ago. (I'm not making that up. I read about it in the newspaper.) Because I happened to have the camera in tow, I took a picture of the square bun and lettuce.

Imagine DD and DH here: "And? Your point?"

Me: "There is none. It was just an interesting story."

In other restaurant news, (and this story DOES have a point) over the past weekend we stopped at a local sub shop to pick up a turkey sandwich for DD who was at an honor band event. Do you remember the sub shop where we had the Corporate Pickle Policy Incident which I blogged about some time ago? Same place. Read on.

DH places the order for a plain turkey sandwich. Per the description on the menu board, the sandwich comes with nothing on it. DD always gets mayo packets but this time DH spies the squirt bottle of mayonnaise in the food prep area and decides to live on the edge.

DH: "Instead of mayo packets, would you mind just squirting a bit of mayonnaise on the sandwich?"

Sub guy: "Sorry, can't do that."

DH: "I see the mayonnaise bottle sitting right there. Could you put some on the sandwich?"

Sub guy: "No."

DH: "Why not?"

Sub guy: "It's against our corporate policy."

DH: "What? You mean you have a policy on mayonnaise?"

Sub guy: "Yep. If I put mayonnaise on this sandwich, it will be the same as our turkey sandwich that already comes with mayonnaise. That's a more expensive sandwich. Here's your mayonnaise packet."

So not only does this place have a Corporate Pickle Policy, they also have a Corporate Mayonnaise Policy.

I'm beginning to think they have a "Let's Do as Little as Possible to Please the Customer Policy." DH will be contacting the corporate headquarters to check on that.


EquineSpirit said...

Interesting post! Actually I like "pointless" stories. Heck, I'm full of them myself...LOL! It really makes ya think...hmmm...square lettuce?!? Are they experimenting with any other square fruits or veggies other than watermelons? Interesting thought? Something to ponder or look up I guess...LOL! I've never heard of charging more for mayonaisse squirted out of a bottle. Ya'd think they'd save money that way instead of having to buy the prepackaged stuff they give out with the sandwiches. Oh well...I'll never understand the workings of higher finance I guess! A quote based on one from the infamous SpongeBob Squarepants...LOL!

Connie said...

Janet, you crack me up!

Colleen said...

So funny! And what's with that place?!

Anonymous said...

Square bread, square lettuce and turkey folded into a square...what is the world coming to. And now a corporate policy on mayonnaise. Explain why you go to this sub shop again? Is it for material for the blog? :) They certainly do all they can to help the cause. I like "pointless stories" and I get the same response and look from my DH. Great story, Janet. You always make my day. Thanks for the laughter and the interesting stories.

Sarah said...

Love the pointless stories. Do a bit of pointless myself from time to time. I think it means we are observant. If there ever is a point, it won't be missed by us!

I think I might need to enact a corporate laundry policy. :)