No Change

I don't like change. Never have. Probably never will.

For as long as I can remember, my mantra has been this: "The certainty of misery is better than the misery of uncertainty." To me, change means uncertainty, and I avoid uncertainty at almost all costs. And yes, that sometimes leads me to stay in unhealthy or unproductive situations. And yes, I know better. You might say that I have some "control issues". That would be a true statement. (But I like to think I'm "controlling" in only the nicest of ways.)

Just to clarify, though, I am not opposed to making small, incremental changes of the "continuous improvement" genre. I am very much a process-oriented person, so if I find that a certain aspect of a process is not working, I tweak it. I tinker with small "adjustments" all the time. And I'm OK with that.

But big change? Nope. Not gonna do it, unless I'm backed into a corner or desperate (my recent re-decorating efforts would fall into the "desperate" category).

Just for the fun of it (and so that we're all on the same page here), let's make a list of the types of changes (in no particular order) Miss Janet does not like. Be warned: This list may not be complete. Print and refer to it as needed.

Hair -- As indicated in the previous post, I change it once every 10-15 years. And my current hairstyle change is going to take 10 months to execute.

Clothing -- If you've been reading my blog for awhile, perhaps you'll remember the garage sale of this past summer when I attempted to sell my 20-year old wool suits. Once I buy an item of clothing, I tend to hang onto it, even if I'm no longer wearing it. In a perfect world, I would actually like to wear the same basic thing every day. In my climate, I would need one winter outfit and one summer outfit. I'd buy clothing in several different colors to allow for washing, but basically I'd look the same every day. And I would not have to deal with the stress associated with changing styles and sizes.

Shoes -- I would like to wear the same shoes every day (in fact, I pretty much do). In summer, I wear my brown or black Born sandals. In winter, I wear my Born shoes. That's plenty of change for me.

Boyfriends -- Now that we are into the teenage years, I've discovered that change is part of that process, too. Boyfriends come and go, and I'm going to have to get used to that fact.

Houses -- I became physically ill when we left our first house (which I consider my only true *home*) to move our current house.

Scrapbooking product -- The amount of change in the scrapbooking industry causes me great distress. It seems that I find something I like and two months later, it is no longer available. Don't even get me started on all of the Bazzill cardstock colors which have been discontinued of late.

Make-up -- I wear pretty much the same make-up that I've always worn. Over the years, I've periodically gone into hyperventilation when manufacturers have discontinued the foundation or blush I wear. I've written letters begging for product to be brought back, only to discover that I'm probably the only person on earth still actually using it. Which, of course, would be why it was discontinued in the first place.

Albums -- I'd like to find one kind of scrapbook album that I like and stick with it forever. My current brand has been discontinued, and that causes me distress. I know that as soon as I make the difficult change to a new album, it, too, may be short-lived.

Aging -- I don't like the fact that DD is getting older. Although the teen years are stressful, I want to stay right where we are right now (well, maybe I'd go back to the pre-teen years). And because I see her getting older, I'm fairly certain that I must be, too. And getting older forces me to face serious topics like my own mortality. And the possibility that my Born shoes will someday be discontinued. At which point my feet will be very cold because I will have no shoes.

The realist in me knows that change is sometimes good. It's often healthy and can lead to bigger and better things. But the sentimental fool in me resists it. She clings to the past and holds onto things that are certain, because change brings the unknown, and the unknown terrifies her.

So just for today, I'm digging in the heels of my Born shoes and staying right where I am. No change for me.

No way, no how.