07 November 2007

No Change

I don't like change. Never have. Probably never will.

For as long as I can remember, my mantra has been this: "The certainty of misery is better than the misery of uncertainty." To me, change means uncertainty, and I avoid uncertainty at almost all costs. And yes, that sometimes leads me to stay in unhealthy or unproductive situations. And yes, I know better. You might say that I have some "control issues". That would be a true statement. (But I like to think I'm "controlling" in only the nicest of ways.)

Just to clarify, though, I am not opposed to making small, incremental changes of the "continuous improvement" genre. I am very much a process-oriented person, so if I find that a certain aspect of a process is not working, I tweak it. I tinker with small "adjustments" all the time. And I'm OK with that.

But big change? Nope. Not gonna do it, unless I'm backed into a corner or desperate (my recent re-decorating efforts would fall into the "desperate" category).

Just for the fun of it (and so that we're all on the same page here), let's make a list of the types of changes (in no particular order) Miss Janet does not like. Be warned: This list may not be complete. Print and refer to it as needed.

Hair -- As indicated in the previous post, I change it once every 10-15 years. And my current hairstyle change is going to take 10 months to execute.

Clothing -- If you've been reading my blog for awhile, perhaps you'll remember the garage sale of this past summer when I attempted to sell my 20-year old wool suits. Once I buy an item of clothing, I tend to hang onto it, even if I'm no longer wearing it. In a perfect world, I would actually like to wear the same basic thing every day. In my climate, I would need one winter outfit and one summer outfit. I'd buy clothing in several different colors to allow for washing, but basically I'd look the same every day. And I would not have to deal with the stress associated with changing styles and sizes.

Shoes -- I would like to wear the same shoes every day (in fact, I pretty much do). In summer, I wear my brown or black Born sandals. In winter, I wear my Born shoes. That's plenty of change for me.

Boyfriends -- Now that we are into the teenage years, I've discovered that change is part of that process, too. Boyfriends come and go, and I'm going to have to get used to that fact.

Houses -- I became physically ill when we left our first house (which I consider my only true *home*) to move our current house.

Scrapbooking product -- The amount of change in the scrapbooking industry causes me great distress. It seems that I find something I like and two months later, it is no longer available. Don't even get me started on all of the Bazzill cardstock colors which have been discontinued of late.

Make-up -- I wear pretty much the same make-up that I've always worn. Over the years, I've periodically gone into hyperventilation when manufacturers have discontinued the foundation or blush I wear. I've written letters begging for product to be brought back, only to discover that I'm probably the only person on earth still actually using it. Which, of course, would be why it was discontinued in the first place.

Albums -- I'd like to find one kind of scrapbook album that I like and stick with it forever. My current brand has been discontinued, and that causes me distress. I know that as soon as I make the difficult change to a new album, it, too, may be short-lived.

Aging -- I don't like the fact that DD is getting older. Although the teen years are stressful, I want to stay right where we are right now (well, maybe I'd go back to the pre-teen years). And because I see her getting older, I'm fairly certain that I must be, too. And getting older forces me to face serious topics like my own mortality. And the possibility that my Born shoes will someday be discontinued. At which point my feet will be very cold because I will have no shoes.

The realist in me knows that change is sometimes good. It's often healthy and can lead to bigger and better things. But the sentimental fool in me resists it. She clings to the past and holds onto things that are certain, because change brings the unknown, and the unknown terrifies her.

So just for today, I'm digging in the heels of my Born shoes and staying right where I am. No change for me.

No way, no how.


Jill said...

You know, I thought I was pretty resistant to change, but after reading your post I'm thinking I'm footloose & fancy free in some respects.

Hair - ok, I haven't made many changes for awhile now. But clothing...well, whenever I get depressed I like to give it all away. The idea I have is to start fresh, but it usually turns out that I can't afford to replace what I've given away so...I really dislike shopping, but if it new clothes would appear in my closet every so often that would be SO GREAT!

Anyway, hope you had a routine, bordering on boring day!

Lynn said...

Awesome entry today! For me there are things that I just love to change all the time and then there are things that I would never change in a million years. I know that is weird, but heck, that is me.

Like my hair... I really very rarely change my hair style, except for the fact that I've let grow really long now. I LOVE my curls and can't be bothered straightening it out everyday or every other day for that matter. Lets not even go to the color that I use. That is another whole issue. No one would no who the heck I was if I changed the color.

I can tell you the one thing I can't wait to change is houses! I can't wait to move! I've hated this house since day one! DH loved it. nuf said.

Anyway, I hope you have a fairly routine, uneventfully day!

toners said...

Awesome post! I'm not looking forward to the boyfriend issues at all...we still have a few years to go but I know it won't be pretty! I feel the same way as you about clothing; I'd be so happy to just get up every day and wear the same things without thinking about matching clothes up - oh, wait - I already do that!! Black pants and a v-neck shirt every day! LOL!!

Sharon said...

Oh, dearie, my life changes every two weeks or more often. I have lived in many houses and in several states. Now, I'm traveling and living in motels and out of suitcases. I've adapted. Major changes can bother me, but not small changes. My hair has been many colors. I love to see what will happen next. Aren't you the least bit curious about what is around the next bend and what LIFE has to offer? Change can be good or bad. If it is good, I rejoice and if it is bad, I cry and adapt. Some days routine is good and sometimes I get really bored with it. And that is what makes the world go round....we are all different.

jp said...

Thanks for all the comments, guys! I am sure I sound like a complete basket-case about this whole change thing. I CAN do change, and of course I DO have to do it from time to time, but that doesn't mean I like it! :-) I've actually had to face a lot of change this year, most of it unexpected, and I've adapted pretty well in spite of myself. And of course, I think it's always better to make changes for yourself than to have them forced on you...it's that little control thing I have. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts! {hugs} Janet

Cheri said...

More things in common here Janet: I too have had the same hair for at least 15 years now, with 2 minor periods of change (read bangs, which didn't work out). And while I LOVE shoes and wear different ones often, I get very upset when a perfect pair wears out (usually my casual brown ones which I wear ALL THE TIME in the winter) and they have been discontinued. And they have to special order my stick blush from Estee Lauder b/c no one around here carries it but it's all I will use. I will seriously cry if/when I can no longer obtain it! I also hate when a favorite restaurant stops carrying my favorite item on the menu.

Staci said...

Great entry! I'm also one who is pretty resistant to change although I'm trying.