Weird Stuff from the Kitchen Drawers

Once every ten years or so, I get brave enough to explore the contents of the kitchen drawers. We seem to have two large drawers dedicated to what I would call "kitchen utensils", but you'd be hard-pressed to find much of use in there. Now I think I've figured out why: The drawers are full of Weird Stuff.

I recently got the crazy idea to dump out all the contents and see what I could find. After sorting through everything, I filled two 1-gallon Ziplock bags with items that I would consider 1) unidentifiable or 2) no longer useful and moved the bags to a shelf in the basement.

Click on the picture and follow along with me to see a sampling of just a FEW of the items in my kitchen drawers:

1) This "expanding spatula" actually came with Spouse. It's intended for lifting a cake to transport it from one flat spot to another. While I think it's a pretty nifty tool (it's kind of fun to press the button and see the side spatulas fly out), I can't say that I've actually used it in the kitchen. But I'm keeping it handy because I think it could be used for moving cats around.

2) This white spoon with a somewhat creepy cat face is for scooping out canned cat food. Our kitties don't eat canned cat food enough to warrant a space in the drawer. I'll keep it, though, because you never know...As they get older, they may need to go on a soft diet.

3) Don't spew your coffee but yes, this is a baby bottle scrubber. And yes, I only had one baby. She's a freshman at Indiana University this year, so I think I could probably safely put this away now.

4) Continuing along the same lines, this is a baby airplane spoon. She no longer eats with an airplane spoon, so I think I'll take it out of the drawer.

5) We have a few chopsticks in the drawer, including my lucky black chopsticks with embedded (plastic) gemstones, which I got in third grade when we went out for Chinese food in Omaha one time with my grandpa. Don't worry: I put the chopsticks back in the drawer for safe-keeping.

6) I'll award three gold stars to anyone who can identify this white contraption with holes. In fact, since I've got two of them, so I'd be happy to share one with the winner.

7) This metal tool with four spiky prongs and a carrying handle is for making baked potatoes. At least I THINK that's correct. It folds for easy storage. (The folding part is its best feature.) Does anybody know if this thing is to be used in an oven or over a campfire? Not that I'm going to be using it anytime soon...

8) THREE - COUNT 'EM - metal nutcrackers. I ask you: How many nutcrackers does one household need? Strangely, I have only a SINGLE set of matching nut picks.

9) This next item is a holdover from my Girl Scout days: A jar opener in the shape of a FOOT. I left this one in the drawer. You never know when you might encounter a stubborn jar of pickles.

10) A fierce-looking bottle opener with a chain. Should I attach this to my belt? I didn't even know we had such a thing.

11) A very handy toothpick holder which dispenses a single toothpick at a time. This item was no doubt acquired at the Iowa State Fair, so I kept in the drawer for sentimental reasons. Plus, it's kind of fun to watch the toothpick come out.

12) A sampling of novelty straws: Of note here is the Mickey Mouse straw from Disney World (KEEPING IT!), a monkey straw, and especially the EYEBALL straw which belongs to Spouse, the optometrist. I don't know why he doesn't have this straw at his office. There's an eyeball right on it.

So as you can see, I've now freed up a little bit of room in the drawers -- not that what's left is any more useful than what I packed away.

Next stop: The Corner Cupboard...