Hello...LA Weight Loss Center?

I was getting my hair cut this morning when my cell phone rang. It was Spouse.

"You need to get home right away and take care of this."

"What?"

"What your cat did."

He proceeded to tell me that Lily had knocked the container of food off the counter, spilling the contents all over the kitchen. (Remember, folks, this is the plastic container I use so that Lily doesn't gnaw a hole in the side of the food bag.) When Spouse came upon the mess, Lily was lying in the middle of it, presumably too full to eat any more, and Tinsel was sampling a few pieces around the edges, completely taking advantage of the windfall.

From his description, I knew it was bad, but I was still a bit shocked when I walked into the kitchen. Food was everywhere, in some places two inches deep. It was in the bathroom, in the family room, and under the fridge. As I surveyed the situation, Lily sauntered down the stairs, her belly bulging. She nibbled a few pieces and then waddled away. I have never seen Lily walk away from food. That could only mean one thing, and I'm guessing you know what that is.

I swept up the food and poured it back into the container. It was then that the shock really hit: The container had been full when I left the house this morning. Now, the food level was down four inches. Four inches! That represents a couple of days of food rations for these kitties, scarfed down in less than an hour.

Needless to say, they're on a water-only diet for the next day or so. And the food container will be moved to an undisclosed location.