Square Buns, Square Lettuce, and Corporate Mayonnaise Policies

I'm known in my family for telling stories with no point. Sometimes they are quite long and elaborate. Eyes glaze over. When I'm done, DD and DH will say, "And? Your point?" to which I will reply, "There is none. It was just an interesting story." This is always followed by groans and pulling of hair.

The first part of this post is really along those same lines. If you're patient enough to read it, you may find there is no point. Or, you could make your own point. Or, if you really want a point, you may need to visit someone else's blog today. :-)

ANYWAY, DH and I stopped at Wendy's awhile back and I ordered the new Frescata sandwich, made with "artisan" bread. The bun is square. I guess that makes it more artisanal. Upon further inspection, we noticed that the turkey is extra long and folded in on the top and bottom, in diaper fashion, to precisely fit the bun. But the most interesting thing was the square lettuce. I guess if you're All About Artisan Bread, you wouldn't want your lettuce sloppily hanging off the bun. While I do believe this lettuce was cut to fit, it made me wonder if they are now growing square lettuce, just like they were growing square watermelons in Japan a few years ago. (I'm not making that up. I read about it in the newspaper.) Because I happened to have the camera in tow, I took a picture of the square bun and lettuce.

Imagine DD and DH here: "And? Your point?"

Me: "There is none. It was just an interesting story."

In other restaurant news, (and this story DOES have a point) over the past weekend we stopped at a local sub shop to pick up a turkey sandwich for DD who was at an honor band event. Do you remember the sub shop where we had the Corporate Pickle Policy Incident which I blogged about some time ago? Same place. Read on.

DH places the order for a plain turkey sandwich. Per the description on the menu board, the sandwich comes with nothing on it. DD always gets mayo packets but this time DH spies the squirt bottle of mayonnaise in the food prep area and decides to live on the edge.

DH: "Instead of mayo packets, would you mind just squirting a bit of mayonnaise on the sandwich?"

Sub guy: "Sorry, can't do that."

DH: "I see the mayonnaise bottle sitting right there. Could you put some on the sandwich?"

Sub guy: "No."

DH: "Why not?"

Sub guy: "It's against our corporate policy."

DH: "What? You mean you have a policy on mayonnaise?"

Sub guy: "Yep. If I put mayonnaise on this sandwich, it will be the same as our turkey sandwich that already comes with mayonnaise. That's a more expensive sandwich. Here's your mayonnaise packet."

So not only does this place have a Corporate Pickle Policy, they also have a Corporate Mayonnaise Policy.

I'm beginning to think they have a "Let's Do as Little as Possible to Please the Customer Policy." DH will be contacting the corporate headquarters to check on that.